A Douglas Vandergraph Legacy Article

There are messages people hear so often in churches today that they start believing they’re biblical even when they’re nowhere near the heart of Jesus. Messages that sound like this:

“You’re not worthy.”
“You’re disappointing God.”
“You’re ungrateful.”
“You’re nothing but a sinner.”
“You’re terrible.”
“You suck.”

I’ve heard people say things like this with a confidence that stuns me, as if Jesus Himself handed them a microphone and asked them to break people in half “in His name.” And because these messages are loud, repeated, and often delivered by people wearing crosses, holding Bibles, or standing behind pulpits, they feel authoritative. They sound spiritual. They look holy.

But the question that matters—the one that places every message under a spotlight—is this:

Does it sound like Jesus?

And if we sat down with Him—really sat with Him, eye to eye, heart to heart—and asked, “Lord, is this how You see us?”, I believe His response would dismantle much of what modern preaching has taught people to believe about themselves.

This article is that conversation. And if you’ve ever carried wounds from religious shame, harsh preaching, or voices that told you you’re unworthy of God’s love, then this message is meant to heal places inside you that have been hurting for years.

Let’s take this journey deeply. Slowly. Honestly. And with the voice of Jesus guiding every step.

**SECTION I

The Crisis of Christian Messaging: When Shame Is Mistaken for Humility**

Across America, across pulpits, across livestreams and social media platforms, people are being told that the foundation of Christianity is their worthlessness.

But Jesus did not build His kingdom on the rubble of broken souls. He built it on the restoration of them.

Humility and humiliation are not the same thing.

Humility is when you understand your need for God.
Humiliation is when someone convinces you God regrets making you.

Yet for many Christians, they were raised on humiliation disguised as holiness. They heard sermons that insisted the only way to bring God glory was to drag people low enough that they’d crawl back to Him.

But here is the problem:
No one crawls their way to Christ.
People are lifted to Him.

Jesus Himself said, “And I, when I am lifted up, will draw all people to Myself.”
He didn’t say, “When I’m weaponized, criticized, or misrepresented.”

And He certainly never said, “Tell people they’re worthless. That’ll help.”

Somewhere along the line, believers began to think that tearing people down was a spiritual act. That reminding people of their failures was an act of evangelism. That humiliating someone was a step toward holiness.

But shame is not a spiritual discipline.

And shame has never, not once in the history of humanity, made a person more like Jesus.

It makes them hide.
It makes them avoid God.
It makes them feel unloved, unworthy, and unwelcome in the very presence designed to heal them.

So before we go further, let’s say a truth plainly:

If your Christianity makes people feel hated by God, you’re doing it wrong.

**SECTION II

Sitting Down With Jesus: What He Would Actually Say About Human Worth**

Imagine this moment. You sit down across from Jesus. And before you can even form the question—“Lord, what do You think of all these messages saying we’re unworthy?”—He interrupts with a look that melts anxiety in seconds.

He leans forward, and His tone is nothing like the harsh voices you’ve heard. It’s steady. Warm. Strong. Full of the kind of compassion that makes people break and heal at the same time.

And Jesus says:

“I know what you’ve heard. And I need you to hear Me above every other voice.
You are not worthless.
You are not rejected.
You are not a disappointment to Me.”

Jesus doesn’t begin with your failures. He begins with your identity.

Before Peter ever preached a sermon, Jesus saw a rock.
Before Mary ever walked in freedom, Jesus saw dignity.
Before Zacchaeus ever changed his life, Jesus saw value.
Before the Samaritan woman ever understood His message, He saw a story worth redeeming.

Jesus sees worth before He sees wounds.

And what many preachers call “truth-telling,” Jesus would call “identity-breaking.”

He didn’t come to remind you of what you are without Him.
He came to show you what you are to Him.

And if Jesus believes you’re worth His time, His attention, His affection, and His sacrifice, no Christian voice has the right to tell you otherwise.

**SECTION III

Why Jesus Never Led With Condemnation—And Why Some Christians Still Do**

It’s fascinating to see who Jesus corrected harshly and who He didn’t.

Jesus saved His strongest words not for the sinners, the wounded, the broken, or the wandering,
but for the religious leaders who weaponized truth and wounded hearts.

The Pharisees didn’t misquote Scripture.
They misrepresented God.

They took truth and sharpened it until it cut people down instead of setting them free.

And Jesus confronted them because they were creating a culture where the hurting were afraid to come home.

Today, some Christians repeat the Pharisees’ mistake without realizing it. They think yelling makes them bold. They think shaming makes them holy. They think condemnation makes them truthful.

But condemnation is not a spiritual gift.

Jesus could have condemned every person He met—He had the right to do so.
But He didn’t.

He did call out sin, yes—but never to humiliate, never to shame, and never to destroy someone’s sense of identity.

He spoke to people the way a doctor speaks to someone carrying a disease—not to blame them, but to heal them.

And that’s the part Christians forget:

Jesus never called out sin to expose your worthlessness;
He called it out to release your worth.

**SECTION IV

The Gospels Reveal Something Fear-Based Religion Cannot Explain**

Let’s walk through some stories. Not fast—feel them.

The Woman Caught in Adultery
Dragged through the streets.
Thrown at Jesus’ feet.
Surrounded by men ready to crush her with stones.

Jesus didn’t say, “You’re terrible.”

He said:
“Neither do I condemn you.”

Which came before “Go and sin no more.”

Grace first.
Direction second.

Zacchaeus
Hated.
Dishonest.
Isolated.

Jesus didn’t say, “Clean up your life and then come down from that tree.”

He said, “I’m coming to your house today.”

Identity first.
Transformation second.

The Bleeding Woman
Unclean.
Unwelcome.
Unseen.

Jesus didn’t rebuke her for approaching Him.

He called her “Daughter.”

Belonging first.
Healing second.

In every story, Jesus lifts before He corrects.
But in many churches today, people are crushed before they’re even introduced to grace.

And here’s the contradiction fear-based religion can’t answer:

If people are so worthless,
why does Jesus treat them like treasure?

If people “aren’t good enough,”
why does Jesus offer them unearned closeness?

If people “suck,”
why does Jesus lay down His life for them?

Heaven does not bankrupt itself for trash.

The value of something is determined by the price paid for it.

And you were purchased with blood.

That means your worth is not an opinion.
It is a settled, eternal, divine reality.

**SECTION V

Why Shame Doesn’t Make People Holy—It Makes Them Hide**

The very first human response to sin was hiding, not repentance.

Adam and Eve didn’t run to God when they felt shame.
They ran from Him.

That’s what shame always does:
It pushes people out of the presence they desperately need.

When churches preach shame as if it’s spiritual discipline, they are unintentionally driving people away from God.

But Jesus came not to expose you to shame—
but to expose you to grace so that shame loses its power.

Fear may change your behavior temporarily, but only love changes your heart permanently.

Fear builds walls.
Love builds bridges.

Fear forces compliance.
Love invites transformation.

Fear produces religious actors.
Love produces genuine followers.

And Jesus never came to create actors.

**SECTION VI

Understanding the Wounded Christian: Why Some Believers Preach Condemnation**

This is important. Condemning Christians are not always malicious. Many are wounded.

Some preach harshness because harshness was all they ever knew.
Some speak fear because fear is the only language they were taught.
Some shame others because shame was their own spiritual diet.
Some tear down because they’ve never experienced love as a builder.

But generational wounds are not generational truth.

Jesus does not validate trauma-informed theology.
He heals it.

And this healing begins when we recognize the difference between the God people preach and the God Jesus reveals.

**SECTION VII

What Jesus Wants You to Hear After All the Noise**

If Jesus sat with you today—if He heard your confusion, your frustration, your exhaustion with being told you’re unworthy—I believe He’d speak these words over you:

“You were worth coming for.
You were worth dying for.
You are worth loving today.”

And then He’d give the line that destroys every shame-based sermon ever preached:

“Your value does not come from your perfection.
Your value comes from My affection.”

You don’t earn your worth.
You receive it.

You don’t fight for God’s love.
You rest in it.

**SECTION VIII

A Message to Every Wounded Soul: Jesus Is Not the Voice That Hurt You**

If any Christian, any preacher, any religious person made you feel unwanted by God, listen closely:

Their tone was not God’s tone.
Their words were not God’s words.
Their message was not God’s message.

Jesus is not the author of the wounds religion gave you.

Jesus is the One who walks straight into those wounds and says, “Let Me heal this.”

He speaks life where others spoke labels.
He speaks hope where others spoke heaviness.
He speaks identity where others spoke insult.

And He whispers:

“You are Mine.
You are loved.
You are wanted.
And I am not done with you.”

**SECTION IX

Walking Forward Without Shame: A New Way to See Yourself**

You can walk with boldness.
You can pray with confidence.
You can worship without fear.

Because Jesus does not call you “unworthy.”
He calls you His child.

He does not call you “terrible.”
He calls you chosen.

He does not call you “nothing.”
He calls you beloved.

And He does not call you “you suck.”
He calls you worth the sacrifice.

So lift your head.
Straighten your shoulders.
And step into the identity He died to give you.

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Douglas Vandergraph

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